WikiHow: How to Write the Great American Novel

Writing the great American novel may seem difficult, but by following these steps, it will become quite easy!

1. Think of a setting. Maybe a Midwestern farm or a major metropolitan area?

2. Create some characters.

3. Write a plot with a rising and falling action, and plenty of conflict.

4. Reach into the metaphysical depths of the human condition while siphoning the zeitgeist of an entire era. It may help to do this by taming the blazing desire that brightly burns in the inner recesses of every American's soul, then offer an improbable yet attainable solution for a future ravaged by fatalistic suffering and unrequited needs.

5. Come up with a catchy title!