The Bible

A lot of people call the Bible "The greatest story ever told," but I don't know...they must not have seen that movie Memento. Now that shit will blow your mind!

Magic Eye

-Look, it's one of those Magic Eye posters!
-Oh man, these things drive me nuts.
(squinting)
Jeez, I can't tell what it is. Maybe an airplane or a giraffe?
-Here let me try, I'm actually really good at these.
(squinting)
Oh my...oh my god.
-What is it?
-I think it's...it's a portal to Hell. Yes, there's the great sea of fire, there are the human souls burning like embers above the conflagration, just like the Our Lady of Fatima apparitions of 1917. And there's Lucifer, Prince of Darkness. Dear god, he's...he's looking at me and laughing. He's taunting me, showing me my entire life, how I'll die alone, old and penniless. Now my soul is chained to a rock and...No, no it's too much, Lucifer! Please, have mercy upon my soul!
(he collapses and begins speaking in tongues)
-Whoa, you are good at these things. Lemme try again...
(squints)
Oh yeah, yeah, now I see it. It is Hell! Heh, I wonder how they make these things...